united nations preschool

I work across the street from the United Nations preschool. There are so many cute international toddlers being picked up by their Caribbean nannies.

I imagine that if you're a teacher at the UN preschool, you have to be pretty sensitive to the cultural nuances of each student. Like nap time, for instance. I'm sure the teacher has to do more negotiating than a diplomat in North Korea.

Every child loves to get out of nap time. When I was little, I would just cry and scream. God, I wish someone could've told me to enjoy nap time and that we would never get it again! Everything goes downhill after preschool!

This is how I imagine the international toddlers would get out of nap time:

French baby: What is this bottle of milk? I want my bottle of vin rouge! Oh-Hoh-Hoh-Hoh.

Cuban baby: I don't feel comfortable unless I'm sleeping on a raft

Colombian baby: I can't fall asleep. I've had too much coke. That's diet coke, cabron. I'm not allowed to have coke until I'm 12. I'm talking about cocaine, maricon.

Japanese baby: I don't know why but I have this intense urge to occupy that Korean baby's blanket and call it mine.

Korean baby: My people have owned this blanket for centuries!

Italian baby: Buttaa waaaiiiii I gottaaa nap? Mamma mia!

Bush baby: click click click click click click bop

Russian baby: Psssst, teacher. I give you 50 rubles if I don't have to nap.