Tuesday, March 16, 2010

THANK YOU UNIVERSE!!!!

I found a roommate, a writing partner, and a french fry in my purse. Things are turning around for Ms. JiJi Lee.

Monday, March 15, 2010

inspirational quote

"You can map out a fight plan or a life plan, but when the action starts, it may not go the way you planned, and you're down to the reflexes you developed in training. That's where roadwork shows - the training you did in the dark of the morning will show when you're under the bright lights." Joe Frazier

Thursday, March 11, 2010

things i accomplished this week

1. Went to a tarot card reader and had my cards read. She said that everything would turn out okay. I believe her. The house always wins right? And poker slang can be transferred to tarot cards right?

2. Did a sage cleansing of my house. Evidently Native Americans burn sage to ward off negative spirits and energy and attractive positive energy. I think it's working. So far my tv has not played an episode from Real Housewives of New York City.

3. Gave in to my Zac Efron crush.

4.Woke up at 530 this morning and wrote a sketch for my UCB class. The only people up at that hour are maniacal gym goers, Dunkin Donuts employees, and drunk people.

5. Listened to the band I'm from Barcelona who, as it turns out, are from Sweden.

fear of flying. fear of loving.

do you want me to tell you something really subversive? love is everything it's cracked up to be. that's why people are so cynical about it. it really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. and the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.


-Erica Jong, author of Fear of Flying and Barnard alum!

dear universe,

Things are looking up! I guess that's what happens when you finally stick your head out of the oven.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

dear universe,

1. Please help me find a roommate. As much as I enjoy having the place to myself and playing Lady Gaga at all hours of the evening, I really don't enjoy giving my entire paycheck to rent. Ugh. This is my micro housing crisis. I need a Craigslist bail out!

2. However, I would like to thank you for that random Amex gift card I found while cleaning out my room. And to think I was going to throw it away cus it looked like junk mail. Free money is never junk!!!

3. I'd also like to thank the random dude who paid for my bus fare when I didn't have enough on my metro card. It's like having a mini sugar daddy. An artificial sweetener daddy!

4. Did I mention I really need a roommate and don't feel like getting evicted?

5. It's times like this when I question my expensive college education. I wonder if I'd be the first Barnard alum to be homeless.

6. I want to start a t-shirt line that says: I went to Barnard College and all I got was this eviction notice.

7. On a positive note, I love anchovies.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

inconvenience store

I want to open an inconvenience store and sell expired condoms, decaf coffee,People Magazine Espanol, and hot dogs with no buns. It would be open on Mondays, Tuesday at noon, and Susan B. Anthony Day. Oh, wait, there's no Susan B. Anthony Day? Then it will be opened on Mondays and Tuesdays at noon. It will rival 7/11 and Circle K. I'll call it Circle Jerk. Or 3/11. Hopefully 3/11 fans won't think it's their fan club locale.

2012

I think it's funny how people are obsessed with the Mayan calendar's prediction of the end of the world because it's the only time when people actually trust Mexicans.

my impression of an accuweather forecaster's tweets

Breaking news: rain has changed to snow in NYC. We're on the scene

Shattering news: there's snow on the ground.

Pulverizing news: the snow is white.

RT@phillywx Yep it's a snow graveyard out there

It's a snowicane. NY declares state of emergency. Lock up your children.

SNOWPOCALYPSE

Imagine I am Legend but instead of flesh eating zombies you have SNOW

DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOUSE!!!!!!

SERIOUSLY IF U LEAVE UR HOUSE DURING THIS SNOWSTORM U WILL DIE

WHY RU STILL READING THIS? IT'S SNOWING! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...