Monday, September 26, 2011

wish me luck


So it looks like I have to go to Ottawa this week for work stuff. Don't think I'm allowed to go into details but I have to go for paperwork/interview stuff here and I would be lying if I didn't say I was effin TERRIFED. These places conjure images of scary officials in stark suits going over your entire background with a fine tooth comb. I'm a good person I swear! Except for maybe that time I saw a guy fall down the stairs and laughed. But I only laughed when I was completely confident he wasn't dead.

And what the hell am I going to do in OTTAWA? I really don't know much about the city. For chrissakes, I only recently learned it was a city and not a region. Is that right? Crap. I hope the scary officials don't look at my blog and reject me because I am geographically incompetent and laugh at people who fall down the stairs.

I'm trying to make the best of the situation and see it as a mini vacay for myself. A vacay where I am completely stressed out and angsty the entire time and drink dramatic amounts of bourbon to compensate. Hmmm, I guess that's how parents must feel every time they travel with their children.

So if you guys have any recommendations for fun/interesting things to do in Ottawa that would be great.

And I've been trying to be very zen about this process. That it's not about controlling the situation but how you respond to situations.  (Ha can you tell I've been hanging around with too many improvisers?) But I hate it when I can't plan things in advance or control the outcome. And maybe that's why the universe is testing my character. Why does everything have to be a test, Universe?  Can't I develop a strong character while watching episodes of The IT Crowd??? NO?

Anyway, I'm sure everything will work out in the end. It's just the stuff in the beginning, middle, and three quarters way in that I'm not happy about.

Oh, on top of that, I stepped on a piece of glass yesterday and I'm praying I don't develop cellulitis. But I guess if there's any country I would wanna be in with great access to health care it would be Canada!

So stay tuned for blog updates and wish me luck! Especially with the cellulitis! 

Thursday, September 22, 2011

something in the air

via pinterest

Do you guys feel like there is something weird in the air? Maybe it's the somber mood from this tragic story. Or maybe I've been reading my horoscope way too intensely (damn you Susan Miller). But I just feel like there's a pall in the air and it makes me anxious and wanna stay in my apartment eating salt n vinegar chips dipped in greek yogurt (it's too die for).

Anyway, before I get all wrapped up in nerves and stress, here's a quick list of things that made me happy and grateful this week:

I performed in Told's storytelling show. It was so much fun and I'm really glad I found the storytelling community. They are just such a warm, funny, and supportive group of people.  What I like about storytelling is that everyone has an interesting story to tell, it's not about being the wittiest or funniest but being honest and vulnerable and willing to tell your story.

I guest hosted a friend's open mic and told a couple of stories off the cuff.  Afterwards, this stand up came up to me and was like "why don't you try making your stories more comedic" and I was like "Uh, they were comedic."

Ugh. That comment put me in a real foul mood for the rest of the night. I just get annoyed when people you've just met a) give you unsolicited advice and b) basically tell you that you sucked. Okay, maybe he wasn't being that negative about it but that's how I felt.  I'm insecure! And, yes, then I shouldn't be in the comedy business. But give me one person in this industry or any industry for that matter who isn't sensitive to these kinda comments.

I'm sorry but unless you're David Sedaris or Tina Fey or one of my teachers from UCB,  I will not be taking your critiques at this time, thanks.

How do other writers and performers deal with unsolicited advice from strangers, friends, and family members? I just feel like saying "Hey I don't tell you how to do your job. Mainly, cus I still have no idea what the hell you do."

But also, my writing and comedy is something very serious and personal to me, and I only trust a couple of people with evaluating my work. And if you're going to get criticism, you should get it from people you trust and who know what they're doing. Does this make any sense? I haven't eaten anything all day.

Anyway, I forget why I put this under things that made me happy/grateful. I guess it was still good to pull a hosting gig off and to work on doing improvised monologues. Even if one guy didn't think I was awesome, I know I can still work on it and make my way to Asssscat. Ha. One day.

I went to the film premiere of Limelight which was directed by my friend Billy Corben. Such a fun and well done movie about Peter Gatien, the New York nighclub impresario who presided over Limelight, Tunnel, and Palladium before being brought down by the Giuliani administration.  It was a really fun and entertaining movie and it's playing at Landmark Cinemas so check it out, yo.

Now I'm drinking coffee and listening to Stevie Wonder with my boo. If my life could stay this calm and simple for the next few days, I'd be a really grateful girl. Thanks, universe!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

if you're having a bad day, look at this photo.

Source: via jiji on Pinterest

I think my stress levels went waaaaay down. Because I just died. Too. Much. Cuteness. 

Thursday, September 15, 2011

holy crap

My sketch 201 writing teacher just landed a job writing for SNL.

People, if you are serious about getting into comedy, take classes at UCB.  You learn from some of the most talented, funniest, hardworking people in the country. 

writing, writing, writing

I never really understood writers who lamented having to write. Or worried about finding the time to write. For me, it is something I feel compelled to do like getting up and brushing my teeth.  Don't get me wrong, I can't stand those people who glorify writing and say they can't live without it and worship everything about the process. Writing is a joy and a release. But it's also effin hard. It's like work for me and every day I show up to work.

I remember this one quote by TV writer Ellen Sandler who asked aspiring writers how many meals they ate a day and whether or not they could see themselves not eating for a whole day. That's how you should view writing. If you can skip a day of writing then you're not a real writer.

And if you ever worry about not finding the time to write, Stephen King wrote Carrie while he had a full time teaching job and would work on his typewriter in a laundromat cus his trailer park wasn't big enough to work in. So if he can do it, you can. I can. We all can.

Oh, and Stephen King's book "On Writing" is an excellent source for writers who wanna hone their craft and discipline.

Maybe I'll do more writing posts. I'm always curious how other people write and if they ever go through bouts when they hate writing and feel like they're producing schlock.

*Update- I've been complaining about trying to find time to write all week. I'm the worst!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

fall trend: polka dots and neon

According to this street style shot from NYFW polka dots are the new stripes and neon pink is the new pink.


Tuesday, September 13, 2011

some artisanal food ideas

If I had an artisanal food store, this is what I would make and sell.

Artisanal Ketchup- so much better than ketchup you buy at a grocery store. Also I would spell it "catsup"

Artisanal Salsa

Artisanal Lard 

Bat's milk cheese- move over goat, cow, and sheep, bat's milk cheese is the new food trend that everyone's talk about  

Pickled blow pops

"Big Mac"--a brioche bun, iceberg lettuce that was actually grown on an iceberg, tomatoes, virgin beef, and Hellman's mayo for a touch of Americana.

Bat meat jerky

Oreos from a box, just like mom used to buy!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

so psyched

I never used to say "so psyched" until I started doing comedy. It's such a white person thing to say! And I guess there are a lot of white people in comedy.  Anyway, I'm so psyched to be performing at TOLD storytellling show on Monday, September 19th.

TOLD has featured comedians and performers like Chris Gethard, Dave Hill, Tom Shillue, Margot Leitman and others. I can't wait to find out who else will be performing on the 19th and I'll be sure to list them here!

Oh, and the theme is "A Dark and Stormy Night" so get ready to be horrified. And no, it will not involve me showing you my bank account balance.

Friday, September 9, 2011

sea streak ferry

Over Labor Day Weekend, Boo and I took the Sea Streak Ferry to get to a friend's wedding in Red Bank, New Jersey. It was such a fun and scenic ride as we went under the three city bridges and passed by the new Freedom Tower building and the Statue of Liberty.  That's so much better than being stuck in a NJ Transit train and listening to someone yak on their cellphone. It's even faster than a train.  We took a 1:30 pm ferry from East 35th street/FDR port and arrived in South Jersey in an hour.

Living in the city, you kinda forget that you're surrounded by water. Look at all this water! 

More water! 

I only want to travel by ferry from now on! 

sketch idea: the blind son

Premise: Connor is a 10 year old, good natured boy. Also, he's blind.  He lost his parents to a tragic car accident and now lives with his aunt, uncle, and their evil 10 year old son Damien. Connor is convinced that Damien is killing people in their town but can't prove it because he's only a kid and also he's blind.

First beat: Connor is in the kitchen and he can't tell if he's hearing Damien choking their housekeeper or dropping a mega deuce. He frantically tells his aunt about what he think he saw but she dismisses him because he's only a 10 year old boy and also he's blind.

Second beat: Heightens with Connor hearing Damien murder their gardener and actually hears Daminen say "I'm so glad I'm murdering you." Connor tells his aunt and uncle but they don't believe him because the murder scene has been cleaned up and also he's blind.

Third beat: In an attempt to be a hero, Connor kills Damien but he ends up killing the wrong person because, well,  he's blind.

teen wheels

This web series came out a few months ago and I'm waiting for more episodes! If you haven't seen it yet, check out the first episode. I love that it's brilliant, stupid, dark, and sitcomy all at the same time. Really good stuff.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

comfort food

NYC has been gray, windy, and rainy for two days straight! Gee, summer, I guess you really did wanna get the hell out of dodge.

I thought this bowl of tagliatelle pasta with squash looked so comforting and perfect for today's weather. I wish I could gobble up the screen instead of going out in the rain to get food. I'm so lazy! 

But I'll need to stop being lazy soon cus this weekend I'll be helping out on the set of a web series starring this guy. I'm super excited! Our days will begin at 7 AM and go on till the evening so I'll have to gear up on coffee and carbs. And then I'll be sure to treat myself to a huge bowl of pasta :)

rainy day style

I'd wear either of these outfits. 

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

baby monkey

If aliens waged war with our planet and asked why humans deserved to live, we should show them this photo and say, "It's a baby. Dressed as a monkey. Eating a banana. WE MAKE THIS POSSIBLE." 

michelle williams

Source: via jiji on Pinterest

I have a girl crush on Michelle Williams. And I'm loving these bangs here. Is it just me, or does something about her look kinda Asian? No? 

Friday, September 2, 2011

lisa frank biopic

Hey guys, remember when I helped out on the set of UCB's video shoot? Well, here's the video in all its glory. Written by the brilliant Caitlin Tegart and directed by the amazing Trevor Williams. Enjoy! 

Thursday, September 1, 2011

landline tv

I had a chance to help out on Landline TV's latest comedy video. Can you guess what they're working on? Hint: It involves a lot of tanning and hair gel.

And here's an old Landline video I like: The Michael Cera School of Acting.

lady gaga as an old man

Lady Gaga dressed up as her male alter ego Jo Calderone at the VMAs. If she keeps this up she's gonna look like...

Dan Hedaya, the dad from Clueless.

Did you guys watch her "monologue"? It was so awful and awkward. At one point she compared Lady Gaga (or herself) to a star. And not star as in celebrity. But the things you see at night. What? She sounded like someone at a coffee house open mic. Please, Gaga, stick to singing and leave the drama for Obama. 
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